So if you know me, you’ll probably know I’m not too big on the olive oil craze. I know perfectly well that around 70% of supermarket olive oils are fake (my first bottle turned out to be over 50% sunflower oil) and yet even olive oil that I know to be real was always just “okay” for me.
Overall, I’m pretty sick of how olive oil is being treated like some sort of medicine for cancer and how we have fat women standing at these olive oil sampling stations telling me that saturated fat is bad for me and it’ll clog my arteries and that I should stop eating butter (this actually happened). However, this most recent occurrence was a little bit different…
If you’re like me and you ate like a pig this season, then this post is for you! Here’s basically all the recipes I’ve come up with for the last 4 days, keeping into consideration that while on a diet, only “substantial low-calorie foods” should be consumed. Hey, I’m not just a cook, I’m also a nutritionist, which means absolutely nothing! If I were a dietitian though…
Anyways, I don’t know who came up with the whole “NO LESS THAN 1200 CALORIES A DAY” bullshit. I’ve been eating around 300-600 for the last 4 days and I feel fine. And thus, all my meals have been around 100-200 calories each and made as nutrient-dense as possible. The trick is to keep it 3 ingredients or less, and enjoy the shit out of every bite…
This was also a great way to test out my new artificial lighting setup… my life is going to be so much less stressful thanks to this thing. ;-;
I hope everybody had a lovely Christmas! I know I did, and I got 8 pounds of new body fat to prove it! (´･ω･`)
In the end I couldn’t get through all the recipes I had planned. It’s a real pain in the ass when you don’t have an artificial lighting setup and pretty much rely on sunlight to get the perfect lighting for food pictures, but thankfully that’s not a problem anymore because GUESS WHAT I GOT FOR CHRISTMAS. (๑◕ฺ‿ฺ◕ฺ๑)
Pumpkin season ended too early. We are now transitioning into Christmas season where I will proceed to live off a diet of eggnog, szaloncukor, coconut rum balls, poppy seed rolls, and whatever other desserts my friends and family decide to force feed me…
Fun, right? No. Not really. DO YOU REALISE HOW DIFFICULT IT ALREADY IS TO MAINTAIN MY FIGURE WHEN I LOVE FOOD THIS MUCH?!!! And now it’s Christmas season, the season of sweets and chestnuts and chocolate and butter… I was hoping I’d have more time to prepare. I don’t think my body will be able to take it. ;-;
But more importantly, this is the season in which I should be giving out some good holiday recipes… Well here’s the list:
I did an experiment comparing a batch of béchamel made with 3.8% whole milk with a batch made from freshly homemade almond milk. The same amount of butter and flour by weight were used (40g per 1&1/2 cup of milk), as well as the same amount of salt and nutmeg.
I figured the whole milk batch would taste better, since it’s the traditional way of making béchamel, but for some reason the almond milk batch tasted better. Yeah, I’m going straight to the point. I’m not going to make you keep reading if you just want to hear the results of my experiment, but keep reading for more details and why I think this may have occurred…
I’m a shitty baker.
Baking is so much harder than cooking; measurements have to be precise, you gotta put the thing in the right place in the oven to ensure it bakes evenly, you have to mold the crust properly to make it neat and stuff… so much skill and effort is involved, and I’m just terrible at all of it… but that’s probably why I keep doing it.
So pomegranates are my favourite fruit and chocolate is something I crave on a daily basis. Why not put them together? Problem is; I’m a shitty baker. Follow a recipe right?
Nope. Fuck that. I’ll never not be a shitty baker if I just do the cooking by the book all the time without doing some experimenting of my own. I came up with this chocolate pomegranate tart idea, didn’t mold the crust properly, didn’t chill it in the fridge, it came out burnt and shrunk after prebaking, I had a breakdown like Minnie did when she burnt the cookies, pulled myself together, poured my ganache filling into the half-burnt tart shell, baked on a lower temperature, chilled in the fridge overnight, topped with my pomegranate seeds and SAVED THE GOD DAMN TART.
And it came out
So if you check the menu by region, which serves as a gallery for all the dishes that I’ve made thus far (or just the good ones), you’ll noticed that I removed the section which showcased the dishes of UK origin. It has been replaced by a Western section which showcases dishes of both UK and American origin, since I’ve decided it no longer made sense to have an entire section of a menu showcasing dishes which I no longer have any interest in.
“W-what do you mean Treble-kun? You used to love pub-style English food~!!” Yeah, I also used to like McDonalds, when I was 12.
As I’m writing this, I think back to what happened last night; I decided to head out to a pub for the first time in a very long time. And it wasn’t only the first time in a very long time that I went to a pub, but the first time in a very long time that I went out to eat food which I hadn’t prepared myself.
So I believe I mentioned in another post that I don’t really like to deep-fry because it’s generally unhealthy, and one of the main reasons I got into cooking in the first place was because I stopped trusting others to prepare my food for me, and I wanted to be totally in control about what goes in and out of my body. (¬‿¬) So for whatever reason last Friday, I attempted deep-frying anyway, deciding to try my hand at making some homemade fish & chips, possibly because I was building a UK-inspired menu, and possibly because I forgot that I was a health nut. In any case, I learnt two very important lessons that day: 1. I am borderline retarded and 2. I’m never deep-frying again.
So I had purchased a bottle of peanut oil the day before, which is rare for me since I usually do my high-temperature cooking with coconut oil or lard, but obviously you can’t use those in large amounts without putting a pretty big dent in your wallet, so I went with peanut oil. I had gone to the fish market that morning to buy my fish too; they didn’t have haddock, which is what I was looking for, so I had to settle for Icelandic cod, which happened to be on special (it was still ridiculously expensive though, I mean $22 for 3 fillets totaling 0.7 kilos. Srsly?) For the rest of the day though, I honestly felt like my humanity was fading away. For months now, I’ve been doing such an excellent job in the kitchen; literally all of my attempts at trying new dishes have been successful. While to many this may have been a good thing, it left me feeling cold, emotionless, and empty, like I had no room to improve on any aspect of my life. I was the master-being whom I had set out to become all those years ago, and now that I had reached that status I had lost all purpose in life. Strange, I know, but that’s how I felt. So naturally I hadn’t thought very differently about attempting deep-frying for the first time; I had been reading up and watching video tutorials for that entire week, preparing myself for this one dish, as I usually do. I thought it was just going to be another day in the kitchen for me where absolutely nothing goes wrong…