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Kakaós Csiga (Cocoa Rolls)

Flaky cocoa-filled pastries.

(Pronunciation: “Kah-kah-osh Chee-gaw”)

Although the translation for this is actually “cocoa snails”, I figured since some people aren’t a fan of escargot I’d put “cocoa rolls” in the title instead.

Jokes aside, these baked sweets are common in Hungary, similar to cinnamon rolls, but with cocoa powder instead of cinnamon. Cocoa rolls are generally larger than cinnamon rolls since the dough is rolled out much more thinly which makes space for more filling. These also don’t include that deliciously rich cream cheese glaze that cinnamon rolls usually come drizzled in… But then again, this is my website, and today we’re doing cocoa rolls! \(^O^)/

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Chocolate Pomegranate Tart

A tart with a sweet shortcrust shell and a creamy chocolate ganache filling garnished with pomegranate seeds.

A tart with a sweet shortcrust shell and a creamy chocolate ganache filling garnished with pomegranate seeds.

I’m a shitty baker.

Baking is so much harder than cooking; measurements have to be precise, you gotta put the thing in the right place in the oven to ensure it bakes evenly, you have to mold the crust properly to make it neat and stuff… so much skill and effort is involved, and I’m just terrible at all of it… but that’s probably why I keep doing it.

So pomegranates are my favourite fruit and chocolate is something I crave on a daily basis. Why not put them together? Problem is; I’m a shitty baker. Follow a recipe right?

Nope. Fuck that. I’ll never not be a shitty baker if I just do the cooking by the book all the time without doing some experimenting of my own. I came up with this chocolate pomegranate tart idea, didn’t mold the crust properly, didn’t chill it in the fridge, it came out burnt and shrunk after prebaking, I had a breakdown like Minnie did when she burnt the cookies, pulled myself together, poured my ganache filling into the half-burnt tart shell, baked on a lower temperature, chilled in the fridge overnight, topped with my pomegranate seeds and SAVED THE GOD DAMN TART.

And it came out
absolutely
fucking
delicious.

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Almond Milk

Tastes like milk, cooks like milk, but isn't milk.

Looks like milk, tastes like milk, cooks like milk, but isn’t milk.

Before I start this post, I just want to say that I am not a vegan, nor am I lactose intolerant. I have nothing against the consumption of organic, hormone-free whole cow’s milk that may or may not have been pasteurized. Almond milk simply has a different flavour than cow’s milk and can be used as a substitute in a fair amount of recipes, so I’ll use it wherever it’s appropriate.

So what’s with all the talk about almond milk in recent days? Almond milk has essentially become the new quinoa, with health nuts and vegans praising it because it isn’t like that evil hormone-infested regular cow’s milk. Of course, if you buy almond milk from the store, instead of hormones you’ll be consuming locust bean gum, sunflower lecithin, gellan gum, carrageenan, potassium citrate… I don’t know what any of those things are, but they don’t sound like food to me, so I think I’ll just make my own. I mean, when it’s this easy, why the hell would I not? (´・ω・`)

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