Category Archives: Original

Why I stopped making recipes

A vegan version of shepherd's pie with mushrooms, chickpeas, lentils, veggies, and a crispy sweet potato topping.

A vegan version of shepherd’s pie with mushrooms, chickpeas, lentils, veggies, and a crispy sweet potato topping.

So as you probably know, this entire blog went silent after its last post published on February 10th. Why? Several reasons.

First of all, I got fat and lazy, literally. Shortly after Christmas I went from 135 pounds back up to 180, and it literally took less than 4 months. I know this because I was recording my weight near the end of March, and I was exactly 167.2 on the 19th of March and 179.6 on the 6th of April. This was after I had went from 210 to 140 within a year and couldn’t maintain my weight as I kept dropping all the way to 135 in 3 months. You can call it metabolic damage, but I’m honestly not too sure what happened… One day, the same day I took the test to become a certified food handler, I started to feel incredibly shaky, and at the time I was speculating that I was developing diabetes since I exhibited a lot of the symptoms. Along with the shakiness, I felt hunger. Insatiable hunger. I have never experienced a hunger so fierce before in my life. I was strongly compelled to shovel every nearby calorie source I could find into my mouth and keep eating until I was ready to explode. I ate lunch at 3 different restaurants that day, and I couldn’t even taste the food at the first two. I had to drown my pho noodles in some weird sauce I found on the table before I could even begin to taste anything. It was unreal, I was out of control, and I couldn’t figure out why I was doing what I was doing. Also my mother came back with lots of sweets from Hungary and some pastries that my grandmother baked on that day as well, and I ate pretty much all of that stuff too. Ever since this bizarre day I’ve been stuffing myself until I couldn’t even move, and one time I actually did end up vomiting. I also went vegan some time in April, but that didn’t stop me from eating bread. My sudden change in weight brought on depression, insecurities, apathy, and my energy levels also completely dropped putting me in no mood to cook, let alone take pictures and write a recipe that no one would ever use.

Second of all, I got a job at a restaurant on the 19th of February. I’m now a full-time Chef de Partie and working my way up. This blog never made me any money, all it did for me was give me something to do besides playing video games and watching Star Trek. I had passion, and I was ready to throw some money at this site, but that passion is 100% GONE. I have better things to do with my life than be a fucking food-blogger. I get paid to cook now, this site is a waste of time, and it finally started feeling like a waste of time.

Thirdly, as stated earlier, I have adopted a vegan diet. I was tired of pretending that I was okay with animals having to die so we can eat their cooked corpses especially if it doesn’t benefit us in any logical way besides satiating our cravings to eat dead animals. Our culture is absolutely fucking disgusting. What about eggs? You mean hen’s periods marketed by an industry that grinds up the male chicks alive because they are of no use to the industry? No, this is not okay. It is FUCKED UP. And dairy? As much as I love sour cream, butter and cheese, what I don’t love is an industry that takes newborn calves away from their mothers (who are literally being milked dry by the way) and sending them off to the veal industry. I’d rather leave the sour cream off of my mushroom paprikash than give my money to these psychopaths.

And lastly, it dawned on me that nobody really cares. Nobody’s really interested in authenticity when it comes to another culture’s cuisine besides the people who belong to said culture. I am fed up with the push to remain true to a culture’s roots rather than experimenting and seeing what works better; it goes against our instinctual nature to evolve and better ourselves, and I don’t want to be part of the group that holds humanity back. This is another one of the reasons I’ve adopted a vegan diet; it seems most vegans nowadays are thriving, significantly more so than health-conscious meat eaters. Humans have the potential to be so much more than stationary obese fatties who on the inside know it’s wrong to kill and eat animals for pure pleasure but still do because they think it’s funny to die a pre-mature gluttonous death of cancer or a heart attack in their 70s. Vegans have a much lower risk of all-cause mortality, and the amount of energy high-carb vegans seem to have is incredible. I have admittedly struggled in my own transition, but I know it’s the right then to do and I’m going to keep doing my best to stay on track. I really don’t care if meat would help me lose weight, I cannot bring myself to eat another animal ever again.

Look at you. You probably follow a bunch of blogs, leave nice comments such as “Wow these look amazing! I plan to try them!” but do you ever actually try them? Of course you don’t. You’re not helping anybody. Your kindness means nothing to me. I don’t care about compliments, all I care about are results, and this website did not provide me with results.

I may start some other projects in the future, but this site is done, and my passion for cooking has reached an end. I will continue to work as a chef until I find my new calling. I’ve always had a thing for marine biology…

 

Also, go vegan. I don’t want to hear SHIT about how you “need” your meat. There is NO reason to have meat in your mouth unless you’re gay. Just shut the fuck up and carb the fuck up.

-Christopher

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Scallop Linguine with Wine Sauce – A Beginner’s Guide to Sauce Making

Pan-seared scallops served with linguine pasta in wine sauce.

So I was in the kitchen experimenting again, just like when I came up with that Garlic Shrimp Spaghetti à la Béchamel dish. Although this time instead of testing the efficacy of almond milk in a béchamel sauce, my goal was to 1. Learn how to cook scallops and 2. Practice making sauces, in general.

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Rice Pudding

Creamy breakfast style rice pudding topped with cinnamon.

Creamy breakfast style rice pudding topped with cinnamon.

 

Tejberizs… milchreis… Arroz con leche… Riz au lait… Rice pudding…?

In case you didn’t catch that; pretty much every language names this dish “Rice & Milk”, or something along those lines, except English, where for some reason it’s a pudding. I guess that’s because pudding is not really considered breakfast food in the western world, but dessert rather. However in many European countries, what English calls “rice pudding” is actually a porridge/cereal-like dish, served warm and is very commonly eaten for breakfast, especially by children. I know I used to eat it a lot when I was baby. (´・ω・`)

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Semolina Porridge (Cream of Wheat) – A Beginner’s Guide

Tejbegríz, semolina porridge, semolina pudding, Grießkoch, Grießbrei, griesmeelpap, mannagrynsgröt, and sometimes “Cream of Wheat”, this is a porridge dish commonly eaten for breakfast in Europe, especially by children, and sometimes as a dessert in both Europe and outside of Europe.

All these different names and regional variations are confusing… I actually used to think this was a Hungarian dish because my mother used to make it for me for breakfast when I was a kid, and so I grew up thinking it came from Hungary because it was called tejbegríz and we never called it anything else. Turns out it’s a type of porridge; very similar to grits or polenta, except it uses semolina instead of cornmeal. In fact, outside of the US, grits is referred to as semolina with no distinction between the type of grain unless explicitly specified. This is way too confusing and so I’ll stop talking about it. Let’s keep things simple… A rose by any other name, this dish is made from semolina; the coarse, purified wheat middlings of durum wheat used to make Italian pasta, commonly enriched and packaged as a hot breakfast cereal in North America under the name “Cream of Wheat”. (´・ω・`)

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Octopus in Red Wine

Octopus, tomatoes and onions , cooked with a red wine reduction.

This is a Mediterranean inspired dish that I have been cooking ever since I discovered my love for octopus. It also used to be my signature dish until I discovered my love for veal, and crêpes, and veal-stuffed crêpes. (´・ω・`)

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Pumpkin Soup

Pumpkin soup made from puréed roasted pumpkin and veggies topped with crème fraîche and scallions.

The last recipe of pumpkin season~!!!! ♪((└|o^▽^o|┐))♪

I still had some leftover pumpkin from this pumpkin season, so I decided to give this classic pumpkin soup a pumpkin try.

Well I suppose pumpkin soup is also something you can serve on the holidays as well, but here, fresh pie pumpkins aka sugar pumpkins are no longer in season (and neither are carving pumpkins now that I think about it), so I had to make do with the leftover pumpkin I had in the freezer. Of course, you can use standard canned pumpkin purée for this instead, but I like to make my own stuff.

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Pumpkin Couscous

Steamed couscous and carrots sautéed with diced pumpkin, scallions, and Italian parsley.

I once tried to get my sister to come over so I could teach her how to cook one of my recipes, because I just have this undying urge to teach the world how to cook “Treble-Style”. And it’s also times like this that I wish I could use that Steam emoticon with the sunglasses, so just picture this emoticon right before the period of the sentence before this one.

Anyways… she asked me if I had plans to teach her something “healthy”. And you know what? I just have to ask… WHAT IS “HEALTHY”? ‘Cause to me, if it’s tasty, it’s healthy. 20 years ago people said margarine was a healthier alternative to butter, and it tasted like dogshit and had the texture of playdough. Now they’re saying margarine just so happens to be ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE FOR YOU and that butter is good for you. It also just so happens butter is the 3rd most tastiest thing on the planet. Coincidence? Absolutely not. ʕ´• ᴥ •`ʔ

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Sweet Potato Pie

Sweet, sweet potato pie…

I’m a shitty baker… or not…?

I tried my hand at another baking experiment. The chocolate pomegranate tart experiment was either a success or a failure, I’m not even sure… This time I was expecting more or less the same results; a bit of a success and a bit of a failure, but I went in focused… not taking any chances.

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Garlic Shrimp Spaghetti à la Béchamel

Garlic sautéed shrimp with spaghetti noodles and béchamel sauce.

Garlic sautéed shrimp with spaghetti noodles and béchamel sauce.

Remember the almond milk béchamel sauce experiment? Here’s the shrimp dish that I made that day! (=^・ω・^)y=

I once made garlic shrimp spaghetti. Pretty much every recipe for it that I looked at included parmesan cheese, so I added it. The dish didn’t really taste exceptionally good, but I blamed my use of balsamic vinegar, diced tomato, and white wine. I thought maybe next time to exclude the vinegar deciding that it was overkill, but then I spoke with an Italian online who told me an unwritten (possibly written somewhere) rule in Italian cuisine: NEVER COMBINE SEAFOOD WITH CHEESE. And after a bit of thinking I agreed; it really isn’t a good combo. I remember one time when I was very young I ate fish with cheese and nearly vomited. While it’s not as bad with shrimp, it’s still not a good idea to combine cheese with any seafood. So I started brainstorming a new garlic shrimp spaghetti dish…

Eventually I got the idea of using béchamel sauce and scrapping the original recipe and only keeping the shrimp and spaghetti, and this is the product of that.

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Sour Cream and Onion Scrambled Eggs

Eggs scrambled with sour cream and scallions served with sliced tomatoes and toasted sourdough bread.

My mother’s favourite weekend breakfast! I’ve been adding sour cream and scallions to my scrambled eggs for months now, but recently I’ve started experimenting with sourdough bread and tomatoes (before I’d use a generic grocery store omega-3 flaxbread of sorts…) The sourdough bread really does make a difference! And the tomatoes satisfy another part of the palate and really compliment the rest of the dish, so if you’ve never had tomatoes with your eggs for breakfast before, I highly recommend it!

Wait… this is my first time serving tomatoes with my eggs. I’m that much closer to doing a full English. Oh boy…

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