Category Archives: Food Talk

Why I stopped making recipes

A vegan version of shepherd's pie with mushrooms, chickpeas, lentils, veggies, and a crispy sweet potato topping.

A vegan version of shepherd’s pie with mushrooms, chickpeas, lentils, veggies, and a crispy sweet potato topping.

So as you probably know, this entire blog went silent after its last post published on February 10th. Why? Several reasons.

First of all, I got fat and lazy, literally. Shortly after Christmas I went from 135 pounds back up to 180, and it literally took less than 4 months. I know this because I was recording my weight near the end of March, and I was exactly 167.2 on the 19th of March and 179.6 on the 6th of April. This was after I had went from 210 to 140 within a year and couldn’t maintain my weight as I kept dropping all the way to 135 in 3 months. You can call it metabolic damage, but I’m honestly not too sure what happened… One day, the same day I took the test to become a certified food handler, I started to feel incredibly shaky, and at the time I was speculating that I was developing diabetes since I exhibited a lot of the symptoms. Along with the shakiness, I felt hunger. Insatiable hunger. I have never experienced a hunger so fierce before in my life. I was strongly compelled to shovel every nearby calorie source I could find into my mouth and keep eating until I was ready to explode. I ate lunch at 3 different restaurants that day, and I couldn’t even taste the food at the first two. I had to drown my pho noodles in some weird sauce I found on the table before I could even begin to taste anything. It was unreal, I was out of control, and I couldn’t figure out why I was doing what I was doing. Also my mother came back with lots of sweets from Hungary and some pastries that my grandmother baked on that day as well, and I ate pretty much all of that stuff too. Ever since this bizarre day I’ve been stuffing myself until I couldn’t even move, and one time I actually did end up vomiting. I also went vegan some time in April, but that didn’t stop me from eating bread. My sudden change in weight brought on depression, insecurities, apathy, and my energy levels also completely dropped putting me in no mood to cook, let alone take pictures and write a recipe that no one would ever use.

Second of all, I got a job at a restaurant on the 19th of February. I’m now a full-time Chef de Partie and working my way up. This blog never made me any money, all it did for me was give me something to do besides playing video games and watching Star Trek. I had passion, and I was ready to throw some money at this site, but that passion is 100% GONE. I have better things to do with my life than be a fucking food-blogger. I get paid to cook now, this site is a waste of time, and it finally started feeling like a waste of time.

Thirdly, as stated earlier, I have adopted a vegan diet. I was tired of pretending that I was okay with animals having to die so we can eat their cooked corpses especially if it doesn’t benefit us in any logical way besides satiating our cravings to eat dead animals. Our culture is absolutely fucking disgusting. What about eggs? You mean hen’s periods marketed by an industry that grinds up the male chicks alive because they are of no use to the industry? No, this is not okay. It is FUCKED UP. And dairy? As much as I love sour cream, butter and cheese, what I don’t love is an industry that takes newborn calves away from their mothers (who are literally being milked dry by the way) and sending them off to the veal industry. I’d rather leave the sour cream off of my mushroom paprikash than give my money to these psychopaths.

And lastly, it dawned on me that nobody really cares. Nobody’s really interested in authenticity when it comes to another culture’s cuisine besides the people who belong to said culture. I am fed up with the push to remain true to a culture’s roots rather than experimenting and seeing what works better; it goes against our instinctual nature to evolve and better ourselves, and I don’t want to be part of the group that holds humanity back. This is another one of the reasons I’ve adopted a vegan diet; it seems most vegans nowadays are thriving, significantly more so than health-conscious meat eaters. Humans have the potential to be so much more than stationary obese fatties who on the inside know it’s wrong to kill and eat animals for pure pleasure but still do because they think it’s funny to die a pre-mature gluttonous death of cancer or a heart attack in their 70s. Vegans have a much lower risk of all-cause mortality, and the amount of energy high-carb vegans seem to have is incredible. I have admittedly struggled in my own transition, but I know it’s the right then to do and I’m going to keep doing my best to stay on track. I really don’t care if meat would help me lose weight, I cannot bring myself to eat another animal ever again.

Look at you. You probably follow a bunch of blogs, leave nice comments such as “Wow these look amazing! I plan to try them!” but do you ever actually try them? Of course you don’t. You’re not helping anybody. Your kindness means nothing to me. I don’t care about compliments, all I care about are results, and this website did not provide me with results.

I may start some other projects in the future, but this site is done, and my passion for cooking has reached an end. I will continue to work as a chef until I find my new calling. I’ve always had a thing for marine biology…

 

Also, go vegan. I don’t want to hear SHIT about how you “need” your meat. There is NO reason to have meat in your mouth unless you’re gay. Just shut the fuck up and carb the fuck up.

-Christopher

Food Talk – Apparently, good olive oil actually exists.

So if you know me, you’ll probably know I’m not too big on the olive oil craze. I know perfectly well that around 70% of supermarket olive oils are fake (my first bottle turned out to be over 50% sunflower oil) and yet even olive oil that I know to be real was always just “okay” for me.

Overall, I’m pretty sick of how olive oil is being treated like some sort of medicine for cancer and how we have fat women standing at these olive oil sampling stations telling me that saturated fat is bad for me and it’ll clog my arteries and that I should stop eating butter (this actually happened). However, this most recent occurrence was a little bit different…

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Food Talk – Dishes for the Post-Holiday Dieter

If you’re like me and you ate like a pig this season, then this post is for you! Here’s basically all the recipes I’ve come up with for the last 4 days, keeping into consideration that while on a diet, only “substantial low-calorie foods” should be consumed. Hey, I’m not just a cook, I’m also a nutritionist, which means absolutely nothing! If I were a dietitian though…

Anyways, I don’t know who came up with the whole “NO LESS THAN 1200 CALORIES A DAY” bullshit. I’ve been eating around 300-600 for the last 4 days and I feel fine. And thus, all my meals have been around 100-200 calories each and made as nutrient-dense as possible. The trick is to keep it 3 ingredients or less, and enjoy the shit out of every bite…

This was also a great way to test out my new artificial lighting setup… my life is going to be so much less stressful thanks to this thing. ;-;

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Food Talk – The Aftermath of Christmas Season

Ey.

I hope everybody had a lovely Christmas! I know I did, and I got 8 pounds of new body fat to prove it! (´・ω・`)

In the end I couldn’t get through all the recipes I had planned. It’s a real pain in the ass when you don’t have an artificial lighting setup and pretty much rely on sunlight to get the perfect lighting for food pictures, but thankfully that’s not a problem anymore because GUESS WHAT I GOT FOR CHRISTMAS. (๑◕ฺ‿ฺ◕ฺ๑)

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Food Talk – It’s Chestnut Season!!!

This picture has nothing to do with this post, or chestnuts. Enjoy~~

Pumpkin season ended too early. We are now transitioning into Christmas season where I will proceed to live off a diet of eggnog, szaloncukor, coconut rum balls, poppy seed rolls, and whatever other desserts my friends and family decide to force feed me…

Fun, right? No. Not really. DO YOU REALISE HOW DIFFICULT IT ALREADY IS TO MAINTAIN MY FIGURE WHEN I LOVE FOOD THIS MUCH?!!! And now it’s Christmas season, the season of sweets and chestnuts and chocolate and butter… I was hoping I’d have more time to prepare. I don’t think my body will be able to take it. ;-;

But more importantly, this is the season in which I should be giving out some good holiday recipes… Well here’s the list:

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Sweet Potato Pie

Sweet, sweet potato pie…

I’m a shitty baker… or not…?

I tried my hand at another baking experiment. The chocolate pomegranate tart experiment was either a success or a failure, I’m not even sure… This time I was expecting more or less the same results; a bit of a success and a bit of a failure, but I went in focused… not taking any chances.

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Food Talk – The Almond Milk Béchamel Sauce Experiment

It... tastes better?!!

It… It-t tastes BETTER?!!

I did an experiment comparing a batch of béchamel made with 3.8% whole milk with a batch made from freshly homemade almond milk. The same amount of butter and flour by weight were used (40g per 1&1/2 cup of milk), as well as the same amount of salt and nutmeg.

I figured the whole milk batch would taste better, since it’s the traditional way of making béchamel, but for some reason the almond milk batch tasted better. Yeah, I’m going straight to the point. I’m not going to make you keep reading if you just want to hear the results of my experiment, but keep reading for more details and why I think this may have occurred…

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Chocolate Pomegranate Tart

A tart with a sweet shortcrust shell and a creamy chocolate ganache filling garnished with pomegranate seeds.

A tart with a sweet shortcrust shell and a creamy chocolate ganache filling garnished with pomegranate seeds.

I’m a shitty baker.

Baking is so much harder than cooking; measurements have to be precise, you gotta put the thing in the right place in the oven to ensure it bakes evenly, you have to mold the crust properly to make it neat and stuff… so much skill and effort is involved, and I’m just terrible at all of it… but that’s probably why I keep doing it.

So pomegranates are my favourite fruit and chocolate is something I crave on a daily basis. Why not put them together? Problem is; I’m a shitty baker. Follow a recipe right?

Nope. Fuck that. I’ll never not be a shitty baker if I just do the cooking by the book all the time without doing some experimenting of my own. I came up with this chocolate pomegranate tart idea, didn’t mold the crust properly, didn’t chill it in the fridge, it came out burnt and shrunk after prebaking, I had a breakdown like Minnie did when she burnt the cookies, pulled myself together, poured my ganache filling into the half-burnt tart shell, baked on a lower temperature, chilled in the fridge overnight, topped with my pomegranate seeds and SAVED THE GOD DAMN TART.

And it came out
absolutely
fucking
delicious.

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Food Talk – IT’S PUMPKIN SEASON!!!

Homemade pumpkin pie!

Homemade pumpkin pie!

IT’S AUTUMN, OR FALL IF YOU’RE AMERICAN~!!! \(^O^)/

A rose by any other name, it’s the season of pumpkins, honeycrisp apples, pomegranates, butternut squash, and pretty much all my favourite things~!!! \(^ω^\)

So this autumn I’m taking a break from Hungarian foods and focusing on experimenting with pumpkins and pomegranates, my two favourite foods in the world besides sour cream, butter, chocolate, paprika, lard, veal, lamb, beef, honey, kolbasz…

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Food Talk – Goodbye UK Menu

An earlier prototype of my “UK-Style Scrambled Eggs”.

So if you check the menu by region, which serves as a gallery for all the dishes that I’ve made thus far (or just the good ones), you’ll noticed that I removed the section which showcased the dishes of UK origin. It has been replaced by a Western section which showcases dishes of both UK and American origin, since I’ve decided it no longer made sense to have an entire section of a menu showcasing dishes which I no longer have any interest in.

“W-what do you mean Treble-kun? You used to love pub-style English food~!!” Yeah, I also used to like McDonalds, when I was 12.

As I’m writing this, I think back to what happened last night; I decided to head out to a pub for the first time in a very long time. And it wasn’t only the first time in a very long time that I went to a pub, but the first time in a very long time that I went out to eat food which I hadn’t prepared myself.

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