Category Archives: Dessert

Why I stopped making recipes

A vegan version of shepherd's pie with mushrooms, chickpeas, lentils, veggies, and a crispy sweet potato topping.

A vegan version of shepherd’s pie with mushrooms, chickpeas, lentils, veggies, and a crispy sweet potato topping.

So as you probably know, this entire blog went silent after its last post published on February 10th. Why? Several reasons.

First of all, I got fat and lazy, literally. Shortly after Christmas I went from 135 pounds back up to 180, and it literally took less than 4 months. I know this because I was recording my weight near the end of March, and I was exactly 167.2 on the 19th of March and 179.6 on the 6th of April. This was after I had went from 210 to 140 within a year and couldn’t maintain my weight as I kept dropping all the way to 135 in 3 months. You can call it metabolic damage, but I’m honestly not too sure what happened… One day, the same day I took the test to become a certified food handler, I started to feel incredibly shaky, and at the time I was speculating that I was developing diabetes since I exhibited a lot of the symptoms. Along with the shakiness, I felt hunger. Insatiable hunger. I have never experienced a hunger so fierce before in my life. I was strongly compelled to shovel every nearby calorie source I could find into my mouth and keep eating until I was ready to explode. I ate lunch at 3 different restaurants that day, and I couldn’t even taste the food at the first two. I had to drown my pho noodles in some weird sauce I found on the table before I could even begin to taste anything. It was unreal, I was out of control, and I couldn’t figure out why I was doing what I was doing. Also my mother came back with lots of sweets from Hungary and some pastries that my grandmother baked on that day as well, and I ate pretty much all of that stuff too. Ever since this bizarre day I’ve been stuffing myself until I couldn’t even move, and one time I actually did end up vomiting. I also went vegan some time in April, but that didn’t stop me from eating bread. My sudden change in weight brought on depression, insecurities, apathy, and my energy levels also completely dropped putting me in no mood to cook, let alone take pictures and write a recipe that no one would ever use.

Second of all, I got a job at a restaurant on the 19th of February. I’m now a full-time Chef de Partie and working my way up. This blog never made me any money, all it did for me was give me something to do besides playing video games and watching Star Trek. I had passion, and I was ready to throw some money at this site, but that passion is 100% GONE. I have better things to do with my life than be a fucking food-blogger. I get paid to cook now, this site is a waste of time, and it finally started feeling like a waste of time.

Thirdly, as stated earlier, I have adopted a vegan diet. I was tired of pretending that I was okay with animals having to die so we can eat their cooked corpses especially if it doesn’t benefit us in any logical way besides satiating our cravings to eat dead animals. Our culture is absolutely fucking disgusting. What about eggs? You mean hen’s periods marketed by an industry that grinds up the male chicks alive because they are of no use to the industry? No, this is not okay. It is FUCKED UP. And dairy? As much as I love sour cream, butter and cheese, what I don’t love is an industry that takes newborn calves away from their mothers (who are literally being milked dry by the way) and sending them off to the veal industry. I’d rather leave the sour cream off of my mushroom paprikash than give my money to these psychopaths.

And lastly, it dawned on me that nobody really cares. Nobody’s really interested in authenticity when it comes to another culture’s cuisine besides the people who belong to said culture. I am fed up with the push to remain true to a culture’s roots rather than experimenting and seeing what works better; it goes against our instinctual nature to evolve and better ourselves, and I don’t want to be part of the group that holds humanity back. This is another one of the reasons I’ve adopted a vegan diet; it seems most vegans nowadays are thriving, significantly more so than health-conscious meat eaters. Humans have the potential to be so much more than stationary obese fatties who on the inside know it’s wrong to kill and eat animals for pure pleasure but still do because they think it’s funny to die a pre-mature gluttonous death of cancer or a heart attack in their 70s. Vegans have a much lower risk of all-cause mortality, and the amount of energy high-carb vegans seem to have is incredible. I have admittedly struggled in my own transition, but I know it’s the right then to do and I’m going to keep doing my best to stay on track. I really don’t care if meat would help me lose weight, I cannot bring myself to eat another animal ever again.

Look at you. You probably follow a bunch of blogs, leave nice comments such as “Wow these look amazing! I plan to try them!” but do you ever actually try them? Of course you don’t. You’re not helping anybody. Your kindness means nothing to me. I don’t care about compliments, all I care about are results, and this website did not provide me with results.

I may start some other projects in the future, but this site is done, and my passion for cooking has reached an end. I will continue to work as a chef until I find my new calling. I’ve always had a thing for marine biology…

 

Also, go vegan. I don’t want to hear SHIT about how you “need” your meat. There is NO reason to have meat in your mouth unless you’re gay. Just shut the fuck up and carb the fuck up.

-Christopher

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Kakaós Csiga (Cocoa Rolls)

Flaky cocoa-filled pastries.

(Pronunciation: “Kah-kah-osh Chee-gaw”)

Although the translation for this is actually “cocoa snails”, I figured since some people aren’t a fan of escargot I’d put “cocoa rolls” in the title instead.

Jokes aside, these baked sweets are common in Hungary, similar to cinnamon rolls, but with cocoa powder instead of cinnamon. Cocoa rolls are generally larger than cinnamon rolls since the dough is rolled out much more thinly which makes space for more filling. These also don’t include that deliciously rich cream cheese glaze that cinnamon rolls usually come drizzled in… But then again, this is my website, and today we’re doing cocoa rolls! \(^O^)/

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Rice Pudding

Creamy breakfast style rice pudding topped with cinnamon.

Creamy breakfast style rice pudding topped with cinnamon.

 

Tejberizs… milchreis… Arroz con leche… Riz au lait… Rice pudding…?

In case you didn’t catch that; pretty much every language names this dish “Rice & Milk”, or something along those lines, except English, where for some reason it’s a pudding. I guess that’s because pudding is not really considered breakfast food in the western world, but dessert rather. However in many European countries, what English calls “rice pudding” is actually a porridge/cereal-like dish, served warm and is very commonly eaten for breakfast, especially by children. I know I used to eat it a lot when I was baby. (´・ω・`)

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Semolina Porridge (Cream of Wheat) – A Beginner’s Guide

Tejbegríz, semolina porridge, semolina pudding, Grießkoch, Grießbrei, griesmeelpap, mannagrynsgröt, and sometimes “Cream of Wheat”, this is a porridge dish commonly eaten for breakfast in Europe, especially by children, and sometimes as a dessert in both Europe and outside of Europe.

All these different names and regional variations are confusing… I actually used to think this was a Hungarian dish because my mother used to make it for me for breakfast when I was a kid, and so I grew up thinking it came from Hungary because it was called tejbegríz and we never called it anything else. Turns out it’s a type of porridge; very similar to grits or polenta, except it uses semolina instead of cornmeal. In fact, outside of the US, grits is referred to as semolina with no distinction between the type of grain unless explicitly specified. This is way too confusing and so I’ll stop talking about it. Let’s keep things simple… A rose by any other name, this dish is made from semolina; the coarse, purified wheat middlings of durum wheat used to make Italian pasta, commonly enriched and packaged as a hot breakfast cereal in North America under the name “Cream of Wheat”. (´・ω・`)

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Kókuszgolyó (Coconut Rum Balls)

Chocolate cherry-filled rum balls rolled in shredded coconut.

(Pronunciation: “Koh-koos Go-yo”)

Coconut rum balls; a popular treat commonly given away in Hungary during the holidays!

While coconut rum balls aren’t necessarily Hungarian, they are the most popular type of rum ball in Hungary so they qualify as something I could add to the Hungarian section of my cookbook which I think is starting to hold me back culinary-wise because Hungarians are basically wannabe French cooks. I suppose that applies to me as well…? ;-;

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Eggnog – Raw vs Cooked

Eggs, milk, cream, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and rum.

Eggs, milk, cream, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and rum.

Alright, eggnog! Let’s do this!!!

So let me start off by saying that I’m not scared of salmonella and I’m perfectly fine with consuming raw eggs. After looking into the history of eggnog a little, I found out that traditionally it is made using raw eggs. Also, look up “raw eggnog” and I guarantee most of the results will be by vegans, many of which who deliberately left out the word “vegan” from the title of the post with the chance that non-vegans may click on it and get tricked into making a vegan eggnog using carrageenan, guar gum, natural and artificial flavorings, spices, monoglycerides, and colorings… Wait sorry, those are actually the ingredients found in store-bought eggnog. Raw vegan eggnog is actually pretty good stuff, however, that’s not what I do here. I’m a traditionalist, so if you’re vegan, look for an eggnog recipe elsewhere. And most importantly, regardless of your dietary preferences, don’t buy eggnog from the store, please. Make it yourself, it takes literally 5 minutes and tastes that much better. (´・ω・`)

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Meggyes-Mákos Rétes (Sour Cherry & Poppy Seed Strudel)

A puff pastry strudel filled with sour cherries and poppy seeds.

(Pronunciation: “Meh-dyesh Mah-kosh Rey-tesh”)

Remember when I said that the cottage cheese strudel was the easiest strudel ever? I lied. This is basically as easy as it gets… I was actually surprised myself at how little I needed to add to the filling to make it taste as amazing as it did! It’s also probably going to be the last strudel recipe I’ll be posting. Probably. We’ll see. It’s just that strudels are too easy. (´・ω・`)

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Meggyleves (Sour Cherry Soup)

Sweet sour cherry soup.

(Pronunciation: “Medj Leh-vesh”)

A very light but sweet fruit soup, common in Hungary, usually served chilled as an appetizer or a quick dessert especially during the summer when fresh sour cherries are abound~! As such, it is “customary that the soup contain fresh sour cherries” according to Wikipedia… but if you live outside of Europe and/or simply don’t have access to fresh sour cherries, you can use canned or frozen sour cherries for this, no problem. (´・ω・`) (You can also use normal cherries, but then it wouldn’t be meggyleves, it’d be cseresznyeleves…)

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Sweet Potato Pie

Sweet, sweet potato pie…

I’m a shitty baker… or not…?

I tried my hand at another baking experiment. The chocolate pomegranate tart experiment was either a success or a failure, I’m not even sure… This time I was expecting more or less the same results; a bit of a success and a bit of a failure, but I went in focused… not taking any chances.

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Túrós Rétes (Cottage Cheese Strudel)

Strudels with a sweet cottage cheese filling.

Easiest strudel ever?

Well, it’s easy because I’m using frozen store-bought puff pastry. If you make your own puff pastry, congratulations, you’re better than me. But I have quite a bit of pastry-making karma, so I deserve a little break now and again. (´・ω・`)

Anyways, Hungary is the home of many different strudels, but this is the one my mother always made. Except her recipe uses phyllo pastry instead of puff pastry, which in my opinion is a hassle, harder to work with, burns more easily and most importantly; it doesn’t taste quite as good!

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